I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Sunday, August 29, 2004
I remember Lee and Judith C, who were run over and killed on Long Island Thursday night. I remember liking them both, Judith, especially, who I thought very beautiful. I remember Lee's 60th birthday party, to which my parents were invited; it seemed amazing to me that he was celebrating such a disaster. I remember that their son Dan had a jungle jim in their apartment, in the same place where my parents' room was, I think. (They had the same layout in 12-F that we had in 7-F). I remember that Lee was mugged after parking his car one night, jumped and beaten and I think robbed. I remember they had a female German shepherd and I would often meet Lee walking her while I walked Powell. I remember that Dan saw a shrink too (he was a couple of years younger than I) and that I found it weird that the children of shrinks always needed psychological help, which proved to me at the time that shrinks were bad parents, too concerned or protective. I remember that Lee first told me about Rollo May, who eventually led me to reading Binswanger, whose notion of extravagence -- wandering beyond the point at which you can still rescue yourself -- I loved. (I think de Man writes about it in Blindness and Insight or maybe it's Hartman somewhere.)


posted by william 11:49 PM
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